In this day and age, any cause, disease or event seems to have a day, a week, or a month designated to bring attention to it. Don’t get me wrong. A month to bring attention to breast cancer is a good thing, but we’ve taken it a bit too far when we have Talk Like a Pirate Day and National Doughnut Day.
After all, Talk Like a Pirate Day can take away from the seriousness of things like, well for example, North Carolina Earthquake Preparedness Day.
Yep, that’s right. Gov. Pat McCrory has declared today Earthquake Preparedness Day in North Carolina. And we all know the threat earthquakes pose in this state. After all, who can forget the great quake of, well let me see, yeah, the great quake of never happened here.
I don’t see how McCrory wasn’t chuckling when he wrote in his press release that “... while they are uncommon, earthquakes do happen here, and it is always best to be prepared.”
Sorry governor. Among my least concerns is experiencing a crushing earthquake in this state. Flood? Sure. Hurricane? Definitely. But an earthquake? I don’t think so.
Still, McCrory does have me thinking — thinking about things in my life about which I’m more concerned than earthquakes. So here goes:
-- My fantasy football team. I’ve gotten off to a good start in my league but can I sustain it through the bye weeks and the injuries, and is Robert Griffin III a better play against the Bears this week than Matthew Stafford against the Bengals?
-- Cockroaches. Yep, that’s right. For whatever reason, I have a strange fear of these little creatures, and calling them waterbugs doesn’t ease the fear. It’s enough to make me scream like a little girl.
-- Screaming like a little girl.
-- East Carolina football. Really, you lose to Tulane. I mean it’s Tulane for heaven’s sake.
-- When McDonald’s is going to end its chicken biscuit meal special. Come on, it’s only three bucks for a chicken biscuit, hash browns and a drink. How is everyone not concerned about this?
-- Global thermonuclear war. OK, sorry for this one but I just watched the 1980s movie “War Games” and it’s got me thinking.
-- Bats, the kind that fly not the kind you swing.
-- Finding socks that will stay up on my legs. Seriously, I get so frustrated when socks slide down my leg and gather at the bottom. It’s enough to push out my pants to the point it looks like I’m wearing bell bottoms.
-- My strange fascination with 1970s fashion trends.
-- Biting my tongue. Sorry, but it hurts when I do that, and I don’t like pain. And since I eat, it’s a real concern.
-- Being hit by a meteorite. Seriously, now that I’ve mentioned it, it’s got you thinking.
-- East Carolina football. Really, you lose to Tulane. It’s Tulane for heaven’s sake. (Sorry, this one is going to stick with me for a while.)
-- The fear that I will get cheese on my hamburger when I specifically tell them “no cheese” when I order.
-- That the Geico commercial with the camel announcing his thrill at Wednesday being hump day suddenly becomes less funny.
After all this, maybe I need a week designated to bring attention to all my concerns. The only thing is you’ll have to talk like a pirate while eating a doughnut at the same time.
Ken Buday is the editor and general manager of the Havelock News. He can be reached at 444-1999 or at firstname.lastname@example.org.