Hitting the target and having fun doing it

In the 2000 census, women and girls formed 51 percent of the U.S. population. And every single one of them older than about 13 - if honest with themselves - would admit they wonder what goes on in men's public restrooms.

No different from the not-so-fair sex making up the other 49 percent of the U.S. population that also wonders what goes on in women's restrooms.

When a woman excuses herself to go to the ladies room, every man wonders what she may be saying about him while in there. Moreover, how the heck does she do what she has to do wearing pantyhose?

Likewise, when men go to the men's room, women around the world want to know what really goes on in there. Do men look down or stare at the wall? Do they converse with each other while standing at the urinal?

Most women understand that men stand. If a woman is really closely associated with a man, she also understands that a man's "aim" is not perfect.

They know this intimate fact about men because women, right or wrong, are still the primary bathroom cleaners in our society.

I doubt this is a census item but maybe it should be for the upcoming 2010 census: "Who in your family is the primary toilet cleaning person, not including the dog?

One of the first things little boys are taught is to stand at the "big boy's potty" - and aim into the center of the bowl so as to not hose down adjacent surfaces. Many wives who clean up after their men lament that shortly thereafter, most boys have forgotten this aiming lesson.

And while as men they may be able to drill a deer from 150 yards teetering in tree stand, they can't seem to "aim" in other areas.

Since women want to know, and I believe they have a right to know, I'm going to let go of at least one big secret of men's rooms. Public restroom cleaning people dislike cleaning as much as anyone does. Consequently, a solution for men's room urinals helps solve the problem.

Want to know what really goes on in there, ladies? Men tend to look down while standing. This is not any form of self-admiration or anything like that. It is merely a way for men to aim properly.

And to have some fun while doing so, many urinals are equipped with aiming "points" - targets at which men may aim both for fun and effectiveness.

This solution takes many forms. Plastic screens set in the bottom of the urinal imprinted with a bulls-eye are most common.

I've seen plastic circles imprinted with the likeness of Jane Fonda at the bottom of urinals. In fact, a package of five "Hanoi Jane" urinal targets can be purchased online for $4.99.

I doubt she has cleaned many toilets in her life. Nonetheless, she might appreciate the intent of the targets if not the message sent by the men doing the aiming.

Traveling in Europe last week, I saw an aiming target in a Belgium urinal that might be the cheapest and most politically correct solution while offering men's room fun: a small housefly sticker strategically placed in the urinal.

Trying it out myself in the Brussels International Airport, I can attest to its effectiveness and fun.

So there you have it ladies. A men's room secret busted wide open. Men look down to practice aiming and have fun doing it when they're in the men's room.

Now we need to figure out how to get a similar solution at home.

Barry Fetzer is a retired Marine whose column appears here every other week.